Avatards: A tale of two unlikely benders
by Griff Valdez
Summary: Join two unlikely heroes as they bungle their way through the avatar world meeting singing nomads, destroying cabbages, and getting themselves waist deep in a quest that is WAY over their heads.
1. Strangers in a strange world

Okay I have been considering whether or not to post this for a long time now. It was a silly idea I had one day while taling to a friend. In the end we wrote this...a self inset Avatar fic that turned out really well. no I'm serious. Anyway tell me what you think. this was never Meant to be the most serious of fics but it sort of...evolved. And now I am determined to finish it! So without any further ado I present Avatards: A tale of two unlikely benders. Authored by Griff Valdez AKA Dylan, Co authored by Guardstark AKA Scott.

Disclaimer: Avatar is the property of Nikalodian as well as Mike and Bran. This is a work of parody meant for entertainment purposes only and is not to be distributed in any fashion other then that authorized by both authors or for any sort of financial gain.

888

The pile of muck leaning against a tree groaned and shifted

The pile of muck leaning against a tree groaned and shifted. A rather odd thing for a pile of muck to do but it did so nonetheless. However before a possible and yet still conspicuously absent onlooker could ponder such a bizarre sight two things were made readily apparent. First off this was, in fact, the spirit world so an occurrence such as a self aware pile of muck was not outside the realm of possibility. Secondly oddly enough the mechanism for the movement of the muck was not supernatural in nature at all, not odd for the real world perhaps but in the spirit world very much so, and was in fact the result of a very groggy young man buried in the muck.

"Oh my head" groaned the man as he struggled about, "it feels like I was run over by a train." Giving a not so mighty heave on account of his weakened state the man came loose of the pile and toppled face first into a nearby pool of stagnant water. The man hauled himself to a standing position while all the while spouting garbled curses through the goop encrusting his face.

"Just wonderful" he growled furiously scraping the slime out of his eyes and getting his first look at his surroundings. The first noticeable thing aside from the boggy terrain the stretched on and on in every direction was the sky. It was full of mist and hypnotic swirling patterns of muted colors. The second was a mountain rising in the distance. However it was far from being a normal mountain. Rather it looked as if it had exploded from the inside and time had frozen shortly thereafter leaving great chunks of snow capped rock suspended in the air about its jagged crown.

"I must be dreaming" grumbled the man, "That's it, yah this is just a dream." He stood there mesmerized by the sky and the mountain for an eternity before suddenly smacking himself squarely on the side of the head. "Darn it Dylan wake up!" he snapped at himself. When stars burst into his vision from the blow Dylan rubbed his head. "Okay that was stupid" he growled, "Oh well if this is a dream, which it most certainly IS, I'm just imagining this hurting anyway."

Dylan stopped rubbing his head and looked around again noticing nothing different. "So why haven't I woken up yet then? Come on cosmos this place is starting to creep me out so I would really appreciate waking up." Still noting happened. "Oh well" Dylan sighed before picking a random direction and starting off, "may as well ride it out then. It's not like I have anything better to do."

Frowning Dylan tried to remember going to bed but found he could not. In fact the last thing he could remember was waking up the preceding morning and waiting for…something. Or someone maybe? Shaking his head and deciding not to dwell on it to much Dylan kept on wandering.

888

"Green... Why were they all wearing green?" It was the thought that kept going around his head as he tried to sort through his memories of arriving at this place. His mind was still pretty hazy, but as he lay there on the thick floor-mat that served as his bed he started to realize that maybe that wasn't an important question at the moment. "How did I get here?" That was a better one, but still not good enough... "Where is here?" Perfect. That's what he needed to know, he needed to find someone to ask. He opened his eyes and started to get up but quickly gave up as he was hit by an intense head rush that forced him back down onto the mat. "What happened to me?" he said quietly to himself as he rubbed the back of his head, he didn't remember, but he had a strong feeling that the bandage around his head had something to do with it. He tried to get up again, this time he was more successful, managing to get onto his feet find some level of balance, he glanced at his surroundings. The room was bare, nothing in the way of furniture except for a few mats similar to the one he had been lying on, no decoration either, just sections of beige walls separated by sturdy looking wooden supports and a green carpet on the floor. "Okay," he muttered to himself, "I've been captured by a cult of utilitarian's who like the colour green, I've had better days." He winced as he walked toward the curtained doorway in front him, his ankle hurt too now, he hadn't noticed it before.

He pushed the curtain aside to reveal another, larger room that contained a low table and some cushions as well as some simple cooking tools and a stove. On the stove was a pot with some sort of strange smelling liquid simmering in it, he wasn't sure if he liked the smell. He moved slowly toward the stove and looked into the pot at the strange purplish liquid inside, but noticed something much odder, the fire from the stove was also green and coming from a pile of small green crystals. He stared at it for a long moment before looking around. This place seemed oddly familiar, like a forgotten dream or a book you read years ago and couldn't remember. His thoughts were interrupted with a noise from behind him.

"Oh you're up," Said a pleasant voice, "I had a good feeling that you'd wake up today."

He turned to see a woman walked into the room carrying a basket with some odd looking plants and some green cloth in it. She wore a green tunic, "Yeah... I'm up" he was all he could think of as a reply, not really sure of what to say. At least he could understand her, so he supposed that things were already looking up a bit.

She walked over next to him and set her basket near the stove, then began putting some of the odd looking contents into the simmering pot. She started to stir the pot, talking as she went, "You know, you looked a lot shorter lying down, I wasn't expecting you to be so tall, I don't think the clothes I got you will fit... what's you're name?", she looked up at him and smiled expectantly.

"My name's Scott..." He rubbed the back of his head, "Can you tell me where I am?"

"Don't you want to know my name too?" She smiled.

"Sure?" Scott remarked, although he honestly wasn't overly concerned with her name at that moment.

"It's Analla, pleased to meet you Scott." She answered. Seemingly finished with stirring, she tapped the stirring rod on the edge of the pot and put it down. "You are in the Earth Kingdom town of Ton-li. If you feel up to it you could walk around town."

"I guess so. What's in the pot?" Scott asked, eying the purple liquid with slight unease.

"It's to help the pain in your head, I am the town healer after all." She unfolded some of the green cloth from her basket and it turned out to be pants and held them up to Scott, "You really did look a lot shorter lying down, you will have to get yourself some clothes on your walk, can't have you going around in those," She motioned to his clothes, "People with think you're a spy from the fire nation or something, the tailor is near the village square, you can't miss it" she chuckled a bit, but Scott didn't know at what. Fire Nation? Earth Kingdom? It all sounded strange to him, one again oddly familiar, but still strange, and he hoped he would get some answers soon.

888

"Okay this is getting me nowhere fast" Dylan grumbled. The swamp just went on and on no matter what direction he walked in and his legs were aching. "It just goes on and on. If this is a dream it has to be the longest one I've ever had in my life."

Plopping down on a relatively solid patch of earth Dylan sighed. "If only I could remember how I got here. Look at me, I'm starting to think this is real. Oh well at least nobody is around to listen in on me talking to myself out loud."

Shaking his head Dylan glanced at the mountain. "I guess I could go that way" he muttered, "It sure beats wandering around randomly." Hauling himself back up Dylan started off in that direction. But before he could get more then a few steps the ground began to rumble. Dylan lost his footing and stumbled against a nearby tree trunk. "Okay what's going on?" Looking around frantically Dylan spotted something through the trees. His stood there rotted to the spot as whatever it was crashed through the undergrowth pulverizing everything in its path.

Dylan was jolted out of his reverie when a huge chunk of earth crashed into the tree he was leaning on pulverizing the trunk. Reacting on instinct he turned and fled as fast as he could away from whatever it was.

Risking a glance back Dylan saw that whatever it was was slowly but surely gaining on him, though he still couldn't make it out. Looking back Dylan was just barely able to vault a root but as he touched down his foot hit something that caved in and bit into his ankle sending him face first into the muck.

Glancing back Dylan fought the urge to scream when he saw what he had stepped on. He foot was tangled in the rib cage of a half decomposed corpse in melted red armor. It looked as if whoever this was he (or she since, Dylan couldn't tell) had fallen into a vat of acid. Adrenaline rising in his system from the shock Dylan wrenched his foot free and bolted moving even faster then before in his panic.

Squinting into the distance Dylan could see a gap in the undergrowth. "Finally" he huffed pressing himself as much as he dared. Normally open terrain would be a bad thing but when undergrowth this think didn't slow whatever was chasing him down…well he really didn't want to think about it.

Bursting out into the open Dylan found himself in the foothills of the strange mountain. Glancing back again he saw the thing that was chasing him come up short at the edge of the swamp. Slowing to a stop Dylan turned to stare back at it. He still couldn't make out whatever it was, almost as if it had no real form.

It glared at Dylan a moment longer before turning and retreating back into the woods.

You are fortunate young one.

Panic rising in him again Dylan wheeled around searching for the source of the voice. "Who said that?" he called.

It was I said the voice again. It flowed through Dylan's mind putting him at ease. Squinting up at the mountain peek he spotted a form snaking its way gracefully through the air toward him. As it came closer Dylan first made out a large reptilian visage connected to a graceful winged serpentine body that propelled the creature though the air almost as if it was swimming rather then flying.

"Okay I must be dreaming" Dylan breathed, though as he watched the massive dragon spirit settle to the ground and gaze at him he knew it wasn't a dream.

"Who…?" Dylan stammered intelligently as he sat down hard on the soft grass.

The dragon's eyes shimmered giving the impression that it was smiling. It matters not echoed the voice again, her voice Dylan decided, I sensed your arrival, as I do with all those who arrive in the creatures swamp. You are fortunate young one, most who are taken into the beasts swamp never escape. Fortunately I sensed your fear and was able to bring you here.

"Bring me…how?" Dylan mumbled.

The paths of this realm are many and varied, if you know how to follow them. Without me you would have wandered in the beasts swamp for an eternity, for that is the nature of it's lair. It is my duty to ensure he never escapes to wreak destruction on what he sees as an abomination, the world of man. But even the powers of a spirit such as I have their limits and sometimes he pulls unfortunate people, body and soul, to die in his domain.

"But why me?" Dylan muttered even as he sagged to the ground sleepily.

I do not know. You and your companion are fascinating. Neither of you are of our world so you should not be here. And yet I can feel the fire glowing in your heart. Perhaps that is why I found you.

"I don't…" Dylan began but the dragon silenced him with a small shake of her head.

Nor do I. I am merely a guardian, and at times a guide. Perhaps your being here is fate, more likely it is chance. Regardless you must rest now. Worry not, as long as you do not forget the fire burning in your heart you and your companion will find your way in this world.

Dylan was confused "My companion?" A vision appeared in Dylan's minds eye his friend. "Oh" Dylan muttered suddenly more awake, "but why isn't he here with me?"

The beast was not able to pull him here with you, though I doubt it was for lack of trying. Perhaps the strain of attempting to draw two into his realm was to much. Regardless speaking with you any longer, even through this small piece of my being, will compromise my duty.

"But…"

Rest now young one. And when you wake find your companion. I have a feeling that you will need each other in the coming days.

Dylan tried to stay awake but the grass was so soft and the dragon's voice was so soothing he soon drifted off.

888

Scott walked outside and started down the pebbled walkway that served as a road, there were small merchant stalls everywhere and plenty of other people walking along giving Scott rather strange looks which he assumed had to do with his clothes. The town itself, (Ton-Li had she called it?) was beautifully quaint, the houses reminded him of pictures he had seen of traditional Chinese architecture, but they all had the same slightly unsettling green colour theme that seemed prevalent in everyone's clothing. In the distance he could see towering pinnacles of rock, reaching into the sky like stubby fingers, framing the town with an amazing background, it looked like a postcard.

When he reached the town square he saw a large rock platform in the center, surrounded by shops. There was a crowd gathered watching what was taking place on the platform, which was a perplexing display in Scott's mind. There was a formation of men standing on the top performing what looked like some sort of karate, except every time they settled into a stance, a perfect cube of rock would fly out of the platform in front of them and be suspended in mid-air. They continued doing this same movement over and over again as if perfecting it, watched over by a muscle bound old man sitting on a smaller pillar of rock in front of them. Scott gazed in amazement for a moment and then decided that he had better take the healers advice and get some of the local clothes, some of the crowds attention was starting to turn to him and his seemingly odd dress. He walked into the store that had a needle and thread on the sign

Half an hour later Scott emerged wearing a dark green tunic with a yellow lining on the edges and a yellow belt tied with a small metal medallion, he also had on pants of the same dark green colour and finally some soft black leather boots. He still didn't exactly blend into the crowd, but at least most of the looks had stopped. He decided to explore the town more and started off in a random direction. He didn't get five steps before he heard a crazed voice directed at him.

"IT'S YOU!" Scott looked over to see a middle aged man standing next to a broken, empty cart. "You're the one who came falling from the sky and destroyed my cabbage display! You're lucky I have the decency to bring you to a healer, but don't think for one second I'll forgive this! I EXPECT COMPENSATION!" The man's flailed his arms and continued shouting about his cabbages, Scott began backing away slowly.

"Hey" the man screeched, "are you even listening to me? I SAID I EXPECT COMPENSATION!"

"Uh sure" Scott stammered, He felt kind of bad for the poor man but at the same time he'd spent all the money Analla had given him on the clothes, and he doubted she would give him enough to pay for an entire cart of destroyed merchandise! "Just let me…fetch my wallet!"

Turning Scott bolted back down the street doing his best to ignore the merchant's ramblings. Skidding to a stop in front of the healers house Scott rose his hand to knock but was interrupted by a voice behind him.

"That won't work." Turning around Scott found Analla standing there smiling at him holding what he guessed were more healing herbs. Probably to replenish the ones she had used on him. "Don't mind him" she said referring to the cabbage merchant, "His cart gets wrecked all the time. He'll forget about it and move on soon enough."

"Oh" Scott muttered, "That's good I guess. I thought he was going to attack me for a second. Is he always that obsessed with his cabbages?"

Analla giggled. "Yes" she said, "It's best to just ignore him when he gets like that. You got off lucky, the other day an ostrich horse belonging to a man down the street destroyed his cart and he was shouting for hours about how both him and his bird should be burned at the steak."

Scott blinked stupidly at that. "He wasn't serious was he?"

Analla just shrugged, "Like I said it's best to ignore him. Let's go get something to eat, I'm sure your starving."

As if on cue Scott's stomach rumbled.

888

As Dylan slowly regained consciousness he opened his eyes and looked skyward. He found himself lying under a thick green canopy of leaves, and as he propped himself up on his elbows to scan the area around him he saw that he was lying in a forest clearing, surrounded by thick undergrowth and giant gnarled trees. The sense he had had before in the swamp was gone, it had been almost as if he had been existing in a frighteningly realistic dream, whereas now he felt very grounded, much like he did back on earth, but he could tell he was still a long way from home. Compared to the Swamp, this was actually quite a normal setting.

Dylan sat up and stretched his arms, and as he did he became vaguely aware of a strangely catchy melody drifting through the woods, getting louder and closer as it continued. Dylan decided that after what he had been through in the swamp that it was probably best to be wary, and remained seated in the clearing, waiting until whatever was causing the sound had passed. But almost as soon as he had the thought, a strangely dressed man burst from the bush beside him, carrying a small red guitar and wearing a cylindrical hat with an explosion of feathers on top, followed by four other equally strange looking people, also carrying small instruments. The first man grinned at Dylan, a wistful expression on his face.

"Hey big guy" the man with the red guitar said, "is this your clearing?"

Dylan was amused at the absurd question, "No... Its not," He replied

Upon hearing that the clearing did not belong to Dylan, the man and his party all flopped down where they stood, leaning against whatever was available, and started pulling food from their packs, or strumming at whatever instrument they happened to be holding at the moment.

"Um... Hi there?" Dylan said uncertainly to the man with the red guitar. The man looked up from his pack and grinned again.

"Hey there," the man said to Dylan in a tone that almost suggested that this was the first time he had ever seen him, "What are you doing in this clearing if you don't live here?" he said, idly strumming at his guitar.

"I'd kind of like to know what I'm doing here too," Dylan replied, then he remembered what the Dragon had said, "But I guess I'm looking for my friend."

One of the guitar man's companions, a portly man with a fu-man-chu mustache, spoke up, "So where's your friend?" he said lazily, he was sprawled on the ground chewing slowly on a piece of bread.

Dylan looked at him incredulously, "I wouldn't really need to be looking for him if I knew where he was would I?"

"Oh yeah," said the portly man with a smile, "Hey maybe he's in a different clearing in another forest!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess anything's possible" Dylan said, becoming less and less sure of how to respond to these odd people. He eyed the food they were eating, he hadn't eaten in a long time and his stomach was not letting him forget it, "Hey, you don't suppose I could have some of that food, do you?"

The guitar man dug a big hunk of bread out of his pack and handed it to Dylan with another of his sleepy grins, he paused though, and looking at Dylan's head, "Whoa... cool hair," he said, and it occurred to Dylan that he must have never seen anyone who was Blonde before.

As Dylan finished his bread, he learned a little more about these strange people who had stumbled into the clearing, the guitar man's name was Chong, and one of the women in the groups was his wife, Lily. The portly mustachioed man was named Moku, and the other two in the group declined to give their names because they were too caught up in dancing. They were nomads, they just sort of wandered around from place to place singing, dancing and telling stories.

"So where are you headed in your wanderings?" Dylan asked Once the introductions were out of the way.

Moku sat up, "We're going to the town called Ton-Li, we heard stories about a magical man who fell from the sky near there, we want to see him and write a song about his tale."

"They say he is twelve feet tall with green skin, and that cabbages killed his parents, and now he takes vengeance on the cabbage vendors of the world." Lily chimed in. Chong took the opportunity to leap up with his guitar and start singing and playing;

"Sky guy! Sky guy!

Twelve feet high!

He came from a cloud

then came falling down

Onto a cart of cabbages!"

"Thats as far as I've got," Chong said, "I figure we'll fill in the rest when we meet him."

"Sounds pretty good so far," Dylan chuckled, despite the fact that none of it rhymed and that it seemed like he made the music up as he went along, it was actually quite catchy. But what really interested Dylan was this 'Sky Guy', it was plausible that Scott had fell from the sky when he appeared in this world, it was a bit of a stretch but it was the only thing resembling a lead that he had, at the very least if he followed Chongs party to this Ton-Li place, he could find some civilization and orient himself a bit. "Hmm, Chong would you mind if I tagged along to Ton-Li? I wouldn't mind meeting this Sky Guy as well, he sounds interesting."

"Sure thing, always happy to have another nomad in the group" Said Chong.

"Well I'm not really a Nomad-" Dylan said, but was cut off when Moku pulled a large feathered hat like Chong's out of his bag and put it on Dylans head, then thrust a small wooden flute into his hand.

"You are now!" he said with a ridiculous smile.

The group cleaned up their bags and instruments once they finished eating and were about to start off into the woods, when Chong turned to Dylan, "So where are you going to go Dylan?"

Dylan was confused, and not for the first time since meeting this man. "I'm going to Ton-Li..."

Chong got an excited look on his face, "Hey, so are we! You should come with us! You've already got the hat for it."

"Uhh, sounds like a plan?" Dylan said, just accepting the strangeness of the statement. If he was to follow these people for another day or so, he figured he would have to get used to it.

888

Dylan was parched, he hadn't drank anything for almost a day now. They had been walking for about two hours since their meeting in the clearing, and the strange group had still yet to come across any source of water.

"You guys don't happen to know of any streams or ponds around here do you?" Dylan asked, "I don't think I'm going to be able to make it much farther without a drink."

Chong grinned, "Well they don't call this the Forest of a Thousand Streams for nothing," he said, "Or is this the Forest of Drought, I always get those two mixed up." He shrugged and started singing again.

"How could you possibly get those two mixed up?" muttered Dylan, but no one heard him over the sound of Chong singing loudly about something called a badger-mole.

Moku came up next to Dylan and handed him an over-large water skin, "This should tide you over until we find something to drink Dylan," he said. 'where was this before' Dylan wondered to himself, but he shrugged, just happy to have anything. He drank deeply from the skin, which he immediately discovered didn't contain water, but he found himself to thirsty to care. It a sweet viscous liquid, Dylan didn't know whether he loved it or wanted to throw it up, but he kept drinking until the skin was nearly half empty, then handed it back to Moku.

Chong turned his head toward Dylan while he played his song, "Whoa you must really like cactus juice, hey Moku, pass that skin over here" he said, and drank a relatively small amount before handing it to Lily who did the same. Dylan felt much better having had a drink.

"Thanks, I really nnnneeeee-" Dylan stopped in his tracks and everything changed. His vision warped and went fish-eye as his pupils dilated to the point that his irises were all but invisible. The world began shifting and squirming around him as it took on a strange pastel palette, everything started trees to began grinning at him their branches swinging in time. All of a sudden the music around him sounded infinitely better than it had before, the flowers began to sing. "heh heh, cactus juice?" Dylan said in a questioning tone.

"Cactus juice," Lily said, "It's a nomads best friend!" She laughed and began dancing up the side of the nearest tree, which was moving back and forth rhythmically in time with Moku's drums, its face beaming excitedly. Dylan couldn't help but laugh like a lunatic at what she said, despite the fact that somewhere in his mind he knew that there was nothing all that funny. Dylan kept watching Lily as she made her way up the tree, before realizing that she hadn't climbed the tree at all, he had just been slowly leaning backwards in a limbo motion and from his severely warped perspective, she appeared to be rising above him, this just made him laugh harder, before leaning too far back and falling back onto his head. He took the opportunity to bring himself into a crab walk, which he somehow contorted into a headstand.

"Thats the spirit Dylan," Chong said, and began strumming even faster on his guitar, and leaning back in the same limbo motion while singing a new song, this time about a man who traveled the the seas using only his nostrils. Once he fell backwards he too got into a headstand, everyone else in the group followed suit and soon all six of them were standing on their heads, laughing at nothing and everything at once.

Still upside down Dylan spotted an odd looking creature that looked like a mix between a rabbit and a squirrel. He pointed at it so that the others would see it. "Hey look, that squirrelly thingy is on the roof of the world." he said, his face was now flushed as the blood rushed to it.

"Far out," said Chong, who had somehow found a way to balance himself completely on his head so that he could keep playing guitar, "But wait, if that's the roof of the world, then whats keeping us from falling into the sky?"

A worried look came onto everyone's face as they looked up, which was down for them, and began to let out various yells which would have been very appropriate had there been any actual danger of falling into the giant blue abyss below-above them. They all fell down off of their heads and righted themselves quickly, then looked at each other and started to laugh uncontrollably.

They all got up and started walking wistfully onward in roughly the same direction that they had been traveling before. Moku kept a wary eye on the sky while be played his drums as if he still expected to fall into it, the Lily and the other two were skipping and dancing down the path while Chong kept strumming random chords on his guitar. Dylan was trying unsuccessfully to fix the feathers in his hat that he had crushed doing the headstand, but then gave up and began to sing a song about feathers that consisted of singing the word repeatedly to the very loose tune of Chong and Moku's off beat playing.

Dylan looked around him as he sang, the squirrel-rabbit creature seemed to be following them. In fact there seemed to be dozens of strange creatures following the group, and to Dylans eye they were all dancing along.

Chong and the others noticed this too,"Look at all of our new wilderness friends, they've come to hear the feather song! Feathers Feathering, feather feather feather , Feaaaaatheeeerrr..." Chong sang.

After what seemed like a few moments that were actually hours of dancing and singing through the forest, woodland creatures seemingly in tow, the swirling pastel of colours surrounding the group changed in tone becoming much more red, and much less like a forest and much more like a small encampment with a large flame insignia on the tent.

888

The fire nation scout hated his assignment. It must have been the most boring one he could have got, keeping watch over some backwater forest in the earth kingdom while the his battalion moved into position for its assault on Ton-Li. He had been sitting in this camp for days now, just waiting for the tanks and rhinos to arrive. He had become a master thumb twiddler, and had played dozens of games of pai-sho against himself, he felt like he would lose his mind if his unit didn't show up soon.

As if in some sort of backward answer to his boredom, as he stared into the forest a small group of colorfully dressed people danced into the scouts view, and started toward his camp. He took up a defensive position in the center of his camp, and as the group approached he called out to them.

"Stop! In the name of the Fire Lord, I order you to leave this area. Or would you risk the wrath of the Fire Nation?" He shifted into position and sent a weak flame from his hand as a warning. The group didn't seem deterred, in fact the didn't seem to notice him at all. They just sort of danced into the camp as if he wasn't there at all. He tried to threaten them again, "You are testing my patience, earth kingdom scum, I won't tell you again, leave this area." This time one of the turned to him, a tall blond man carrying a feathered hat in one hand and a wooden flute in the other.

"Hello there flamey, what's with the red getup, are you going to the suns funeral tonight?" he said, laughing disconcertingly, spinning slowly on the spot. One of the others in the group was lying down in his tent, apparantly fast asleep already, while another one, who was quite fat, did a headstand and then started screaming and kicking his legs wildly as if he were falling, while the other three joined hands and starting dancing in a ring around the frightened and confused fire nation scout.

"I was right," He said, "I've gone completely mad, I HATE THIS PLACE" he gripped his face desperately and laughed maniacally. He quickly stripped down to his underwear and sprinted off into the forest, arms flailing.

888

Everything felt so pleasant. The whole world seemed to be swaying in time to some unknown beat and the grass felt so soft, every blade like an individual spring in a giant mattress. Dylan cracked one eye open to look at the clouds. He had always liked clouds. Even more so now since they seemed to be moving to the beat of some far off rhythm.

Hauling himself into a sitting position Dylan looked around and saw everyone else sound asleep. Deciding not to wake anybody just yet he closed his eyes and started swaying to the beat that seemed to permeate the earth around him. The trees seemed to enjoy they rhythm as well and began to hum along with it.

They were singing about a village, a place that sounded rather interesting. They were singing about something that was going to happen there. They sang and sang, in a million voices at a million different times but it was always about the same place.

The beat was pounding in Dylan's ears now and had even begun to wake the others.

888

"Why are we even bothering with this backwater village" one soldier grumbled as he stared with no shortage of contempt and the back end of the rhino he was marching behind.

"Dunno" said the soldier next to him, "more important places to go after if you ask me."

"I know" said the first, "I mean I'm sure there are much more important things for the army to deal with then this…what was it called? Tor-blo? Tom-lak?"

"Ton-Li" said a third soldier, "And maybe you should shut your traps. It isn't out place to question orders."

"I wasn't questioning I was just wondering" said the first, "just like everyone else here is wondering." The only response the first soldier got to that from the third was an unintelligible grunt.

"Don't mind him" the second said, "he's new, he'll loosen up soon enough."

The first just nodded at that and decided to cut the third a little slack. Fresh recruits were always pretty uptight. Side effect of recently having a driller constantly screaming in your face every time you made the smallest slip up.

"Halt!" shouted someone just in front causing the first soldier to run right into the rhinos back end.

"Whats going on?" he wonderd out loud as he shoved the offending animals tail of his face to get a look. Up ahead was a fairly normal scout's encampment. Tent, scattered personal belongings, fire pit. It was the scout his column was set to rendezvous with. Or rather had been since the scout was clearly missing and in his place were six of the most absurdly dressed people he had ever seen.

Most were asleep but one, a man with a small red guitar, was lying in the grass picking out random sounds on the instrument. The other that was awake, a tall man in fairly odd though somewhat plain clothing, was sitting cross legged with his eyes closed swaying insanely to what could only have been the beat of the columns marching. A very odd thing to find contentment in to say the least. His seeming complete contentment was even more baffling due to the fact that the man looked as if he had been dragged by the ankles though a swamp.

"Okay maybe this wont be so routine after all."

888

The beat had stopped. "Aw" Dylan grumbled, "Why did you stop singing? Tree's have such lovely voices."

"Identify yourself!" demanded a voice.

Cracking an eye open Dylan stared at a figure in front of him. "I didn't know that trees could walk. Why did you and your brothers and sisters stop singing?"

The forest snickered at Dylan's comment.

The tree blushed making it turn even redder then it had been before. "I am not a tree" the tree snarled, "Now identify yourself Immediately, And furthermore where is my scout. ANSWER ME!"

"Oh you mean that man dressed for the sun's funeral?" Chong piped in, "he said something about being mad and ran off in his underwear. He had really cool underwear. I hope he finds what he's looking for. Being mad gets in the way of the going."

"…What?" the commander said at a complete loss for words.

Chong blinked. "Hello" he chirped as if it was the first time he had spoken, "If you're looking for the red man he left."

"Yup" Dylan piped in, "ran off in his shorts. I sure hope the poor fellow doesn't get snowed on. Blue feet clash horribly with red clothing"

There was an audible clang as the commaders forehead became aquainted with the palm of his hand. "Clap these idiots in irons" he snapped, "And you three, find that scout. He had better have a damn good reason for abandoning his post to…to…" The commander's little speech devolved into a string of random jabbering as he stalked off.

"Goodbye tree" Dylan said idly waving. however his wrist was soon closed in an iron shackle. Looking at it stupidly he glared half heartedly at the man who had put it on him. "Please take that off" he said, "It's heavy."

"Shut up" snapped the soldier. Dylan felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck before everything went black.


	2. Target practice

Dylan groaned in pain as he came to. He struggled to open his eyes but the small bit of light that leaked through the half open lids just intensified his migraine to the point where it felt as if his head was in a tightening vice. Instead he tried to haul himself up only to find himself chained to something.

Dylan was instantly wide awake, eyes snapping open and causing him to wince at the sudden bright seeming light. Looking around he spotted a few other people around shackled to stout posts similar to his own. "Chong?" Dylan mumbled weakly, "is that you?" The only response was a loud snore. Dylan would have rolled his eyes in most other situations. The dopey bugger, in fact everyone but him it seemed, had fallen asleep!

Returning his attention to his surroundings Dylan noted that they were being kept in a large tent made of some sort of thick canvass material. What little light there was filtered through the threads in the heavy red and orange fabric.

Turning his attention back to his more immediate predicament Dylan started to fiddle with the manacles binding him to the post. He managed to twist enough to see that they had a simple latch mechanism instead of an actual lock, but with his arms wrapped around the post behind it back it was a moot point unless Dylan's arms suddenly grew over a foot longer apiece.

Looking forward Dylan found his feet shackled in a similar fashion and staked to the ground in two separate places to keep his using his toes to fiddle with the latches. He tried pulling the steaks out of the ground but it was no use. He would probably have been able to do it had he been standing up but in this forced sitting position the angle was just to awkward. Nevertheless Dylan kept trying different ways to wiggle out of the bonds, but with so few options available there wasn't much he could do.

With a sigh Dylan stopped struggling. He hadn't eaten since Chong had given him that hunk of bread and there was no point in wasting what little energy he had regained from being knocked out. Besides even if he did wiggle free he would probably just get caught again anyway.

Instead Dylan focused on trying to hear anything he could outside the tent. Other then the shuffling of feet and a pair of muttering voices that probably belongs to whatever bored soldiers had been set to guard this tent Dylan heard nothing. With a defeated sigh Dylan sagged against the post just trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. A feat much easier then he fist thought it would be since his libs had gone numb quite a while ago.

However the hammering headache brought on from whatever 'cactus juice' was combined with that crack to the head earlier kept Dylan wide awake. So he waited. And waited. And waited. And for a change of pace...waited some more

888

Approaching the tent where the prisoners were being kept the commander glared at the guards when he saw their lax attitude. "Report!" he barked causing both of them to snap to attention.

"No problems sir" one said, "One of them struggled for a while but whichever one it was gave up after a few minutes."

The commander nodded. "As you where then" he growled. Picking up a nearby oil lamp and lighting it the commander pushed his way into the tent. Taking a look around he found the big man in the strange clothes staring right at him. Almost casually the commander hung the lamp on the tents central post before strolling around the ring of prisoners. The man didn't take his eyes off him for even a second.

"You've put me in quite the predicament you know" the commander said as he came to a stop in front of the man, "Thanks to you I have a rogue scout. You know what that means?"

The man shook his head blankly.

Kneeling down the commander glared at the man. "It means that I now have NO information on what is is I'm supposed to be doing out here" he snapped even as he reached out and grabbed the mans hair and jerked his head back causing the man to cry out in pain. "It means that, not only am I now one man short, but if our enemies catch wind of us because of you and escape I'll be stuck in this armpit of the world for the rest of my career." He jerked the mans head back and forth a few times before looking him right in the eve. "Where is my scout?"

"I don't know" the prisoner growled, contempt and fear written all over his face.

Letting go of the mans hair the commander wound up and slammed his fist into the mans gut. "Answer me!" he shouted.

"I don't know" the man groaned, "He ran off into the forest in his underwear babbling a bunch of nonsense.

The man filched as the commander wound up for another punch. But it never came. When he looked up he found the commander staring at him instead. "You know" said the commander at length, "maybe I'm going about this all wrong." The man almost breathed a sigh of relief but it turned to a scream when the commanders boot cracked him in the ribs. "Perhaps a little target practice will loosen your tongue. Guards!"

The mans eyes widened even further as the guards entered and, at a signal from the commander, unshackled him and haled him outside. "No I swear I don't know where that soldier went!" the man screamed, "he just ran off when..."

He was cut off when the commander punched him again. "For your sake you had better be lying" the commander snapped, "Because if you have caused me this much trouble by just being a bumbling moron then..." he let the threat hang in the air.

888

Dylan struggled as the guards lashed him to a post near the edge of the camp. Whatever these guys meant by target practice it couldn't be good. Looking around he saw several of the red armored soldiers either wandering off shaking their heads or encircling him to either stare of jeer at him. The guards finished lashing him to the post and backed away. Forcing his head up he saw one of the soldiers standing a few yards opposite him. His memory flashing back to the missing scout Dylan put two and two together and figured out exactly what the commander meant by 'target practice.'

Panic rising in him Dylan stuggled furiously against the bonds. The cords groaned and shifted. If only he could break them or cut them or burn through them or...something! The man standing across from his just chuckled.

"Don't worry earth kingdom scum" he growled, "I wont be long, my friends want their turn to." the crowd chuckled and Dylan struggled even harder. In one fluid motion the soldier spun and sent a stream of flame hurtling his way.

Dylan squeezed his eyes shut trying his best to brace himself against the pain but knowing it probably wouldn't even come close to being enough. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the stream of fire shot towards him. Dylan struggled and writhed even harder from the heat. It felt like he was already on fire. His breath was coming out in scorched wheezes and his insides felt like they had been set to a boil. Squezing his eyes even tighter as the fireball came within inches of his left shoulder Dylan wished it would go away, wished he could be anywhere but here, wished he could do...ANYTHING but stand here and get roasted.

There was a rush of searing heat the next time Dylan exhaled and then, nothing. No searing pain no burning clothing or hair. Then Dylan heard several people screaming. He opened his eyes to see one of the soldiers that had been watching running around with his sleeve on fire. In his panic he stumbled into a nearby tent setting it ablaze.

Looking away from the confusion and down at the ground Dylan saw a large spray of grass that had been turned to ash, almost as if two fireballs had collided in mid air. But that wasnt possible unless, no that was impossible. And yet through the haze of Dylan's heat fueled delirium he remembered something the dragon has told him. Something about inner fire. He had taken it for a metaphor at the time but she couldn't have been speaking literally...could she?

Deciding he had nothing to loose Dylan closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could on the little kernel of heat that seemed to still be burning in his belly. At first nothing happened, it was so frustrating, Dylan had thought that maybe he would have a way out. But of course not, karma just HAD to sneer at him... There, the warmth was spreading, up from his belly and into his lungs. He breathed in and out stoking the inner fire. It grew and grew until Dylan felt like he was going to explode but he still couldn't force it out. Just a bit more.

Dylan's eyes widened when a weak stream of smoke and flame billowed out of his nose and mouth. Focusing hard he moved the warm feeling down his arms. His skin felt like it would boil any second. But instead the ropes holding his wrists began to sizzle and pop before they burst into flame and disintegrated.

Freeing his arms Dylan found it easier, though no by much, to burn away the ropes around his waist and ankles. Stumbling for a moment as the last bonds came undone Dylan started to run in the opposite direction of the panic. By now several tents were on fire and the soldiers were to busy trying to set up bucket chains to put them out for any of them to notice Dylan skulking about.

Rounding a corner Dylan looked around and spotted the tent were he and the other had been held captive. Keeping his head down he dashed inside to find Chong and the other humming something.

"Dylan" Chong said, "we were wondering where you went."

"No time to talk right now" Dylan panted as he unlatched the shackles from each member of Chongs group.

Chong looked like he was considering something very carefully as he retrieved his guitar from the place where it had been tossed in the corner of the tent. "What about a song then!" he chirped seemingly oblivious to what was going on.

Dylan straightened from undoing the last shackle. He would have rolled his eyes if the situation wasn't so urgent. Then a thought occurred to him. "Yah it is time for a song" Dylan said, "It's time for the running song. Do you know the running song?"

The nomads shook their heads.

"Well you make it up as you run toward the nearest town" Dylan said.

Chongs eyes lit up. "That's the town with sky guy!" he said excitedly.

"lead the way then" Dylan said.

Without a second thought everyone bolted from the tent accompanied by Chong strumming wildly on his guitar.

888

The commander knelt next to the post and examined the scorched remains of the ropes. It had taken some time but the fires had been brought under control before the whole camp burned down.

Just then the commander heard someone shouting and looked up to see one of the tent guards. "Sir" panted the guard as he skidded to a halt, "The prisoners have all escaped!"

The commander growled. This just wasn't his day. Well there was nothing for it. "Pack up camp!" he roared instantly gaining the attention of everyone withing earshot, "we march on Ton Li now!"

Before anything else goes wrong he added mentally as the troops hastened to obey.

Authors notes

Bit long in coming but hopefully updates will become more frequent now. Anyway hope you enjoyed chapter two. Ciao.


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